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How the EA is working with the Maternity Paternity Teacher project to support parent-teachers
Rose Tucker
I trained as an English teacher over a decade ago and I still believe that it’s the best job in the world. In the early years of my career the thrill of getting a room full of teenagers to enjoy Shakespeare or the quiet pride of watching students write creatively confirmed I was exactly where I was meant to be. I said yes to every opportunity that came my way, rarely stopping to question whether I could truly sustain it. As time went on, I took on more responsibility: coordinating key stages, leading whole-school literacy and eventually heading the faculty. I pushed myself hard to ensure success and found fresh pride and purpose in the achievements of both students and staff. But behind the accomplishments, I was beginning to feel the strain of constantly giving more. It was to this backdrop – of quiet exhaustion, relentless forward motion and a lack of control – that motherhood arrived.
When I returned to work after my first maternity leave, everything that had driven me in my career for so long seemed to dissolve into a sodden mess of feelings of failure, disappointment and guilt. The accomplishments and successes I’d worked so hard for felt like distant memories as we battled our way through. Each time I had to miss a day of work to care for my son the guilt bubbled up relentlessly. But when I left my sick child in someone else’s care, it was worse. The guilt didn’t just bubble; it erupted, confirming in my mind that I was failing on all fronts. Trying to balance everything – motherhood, work, the unrelenting pace of life in school, left me feeling completely adrift. The joy I once found in my job had vanished. Life moved on, fast and unforgiving and I was struggling to keep up.
Muddling through with very little support, I fell pregnant again and heaved my way to the finish line a month before my due date. When my daughter arrived and the foundations of life shifted once again, I knew that something needed to change. I reached out to the MTPT project when she was three months old and was offered four sessions of 1:1 coaching, generously funded by The English Association. There was total relief in the first session when I began to realise how harshly I had treated myself for so long. I was surprised by how much guilt I was feeling about not wanting to work in the way I used to and how little understanding I had about what I needed in order to continue.
With a month in between each session, there was plenty of time for self-reflection and work in between. By the third session, something had shifted. I began to work through what I wanted in terms of flexibility, professional development and working relationships. I started to feel confident in reaching out to other organisations in order to be able to make my next moves with precision and conviction. Most importantly, I was able to clearly see my immense contribution to education for what it was worth.
Since my final session, I have felt a calm about my career that is entirely new to me. My sense of worth has improved exponentially and I am clear on what I need in a teaching job for it to be sustainable, fulfilling and for me to continue meeting the needs of my two very young children. Having broken free from the feelings of guilt that were threatening to drown me, I am making decisions about my future that are bold and unafraid.
I have started to read books again during my baby’s more predictable nap times and I have curated a list of books to read and theatre productions to see in the next year. The English Association’s short podcasts were something that reminded me of why I loved teaching when I wanted a connection with the outside world in the early days of my second maternity leave. Looking through past newsletters and the numerous interesting articles in those have kept my mind ticking over as I continue to juggle the naps and nappies.
After all of this, I’m staying in a profession which I love and I feel like I have a clean slate on which to build a new relationship with my working life. The meaning of words like reliability, perseverance and capability have changed entirely for me and I have freed myself of the guilt that had held me back from seeking out what I needed during my first return to work. I am endlessly grateful to The English Association and the MTPT project for the opportunity and I am walking into the future with optimism, clarity and strength.